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Varsity Drag

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We Are Family Stop in the Name of Love


Varsity Drag is the twenty-sixth and final episode of ALF's second season. This is the season finale. It originally aired on May 9, 1988.

Varsity Drag

Plot[]

Teaser[]

Brian comes home and greets greets ALF, who barely looks up from his reading material to say hi. Brian hands him the mail. ALF looks through the mail is upset about an acceptance letter Lynn got from Amherst College in Massachusetts. If Lynn goes there, she won’t be around anymore, and ALF is devastated.


Act One[]

ALF and Lynn are in her room and he's moaning about her going away, Lynn talks about it being the next step in her life and being on her own. She thinks it's sweet that he wants her to stay. Willie and Kate come in and ALF leaves the room. They need to talk to Lynn alone, because they have some bad news. They tell her they can’t afford to send Lynn away for college, because of ALF's expenses. He tells her that they’ve had a rare, one-of-a-kind opportunity living with an alien.


The next day, Brian gives a lecture on how to eat an Oreo cookie. ALF says that twisting to top off and licking up all the gooey stuff is the same method he uses to eat a jar of mayonnaise. Lynn talks to her parents again, and ALF thinks they wanted to send her away to college but can't.

Lynn reiterates her frustrations and storms off, which spurs some nice lament on the part of her parents. ALF knows they can’t give her what she wants…and they also don’t want to upset him. ALF starts digging through the budget for the family. Kate tells him that the $10,000 expenditure labelled “miscellaneous,” which he directly questions, is what it costs to support him. ALF feels remoseful about him being the reason Lynn can't go away to school

Act Two[]

ALF summons Willie and Kate the most effective way he knows how: he politely asks where the fire extinguisher is. ALF talks to them about extra jobs that could be done,including a night job as a men's restroom attendant, and then suggests a job for Kate, as model whose phone number implies a phone sex company. When they decline, ALF says that he'll need to get job himself. Kate and Willie goodnight and leave the room. ALF then sees another ad for a job as a paperboy. ALF wakes Willie and Kate up in the middle of the night to show them the living room, which is full of newspapers. 501 of them, Realizing that these papers need to be delivered, Willie and Kate begrudgingly agree to do it but force ALF to accompany them. ALF keeps giving bad directions about where to deliver, and eventually falls asleep, Kate delivers the last newspaper at the Ochmoneks house. Raquel comes out and thinks the Tanners are destitute.Kate says that they’re just trying to earn a little extra money to send Lynn to college, but Raquel is still worried and offers the Tanners a place to stay if things get worse. Kate comes home and tells Willie that Raquel saw her delivering the paper. ALF then says that the evening paper will be ready soon.Lynn comes in and is still upset about not being able to go away to college. Raquel shows up and with some food. Lynn asks what's happening and they tell her that ALF got 10 paper routes, to raise money for her education. Lynn then tells her parents that she doesn't need to go to Amherst and that many of her friends are going to local state schools..


Epilogue[]

ALF and Willie are talking about money and ALF notices the family's fire insurance premium has gone up. ALF suggests cutting back on dental care, and pet supplies by letting him eat Lucky

Background information[]

Production history[]

  • Premiere airdate: May 9, 1988
  • Production number: 2017

Cast[]

Title Reference[]

"The Varsity Drag" is a song by Ray Henderson.

Trivia[]

  • This episode is not seen or shown as a flashback in Tonight, Tonight unlike all the other Season 2 episodes.
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