Stairway to Heaven

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Stairway to Heaven is the second episode of ALF's third season. It originally aired on Oct. 10, 1988.

Plot

ALF is knocked unconscious and has a dream about a guardian angel showing him what his life would be like if he landed somewhere other than the Tanner's

Teaser

The family is outside getting ready to play croquet. ALF reveals it was a popular sport on Melmac with some different rules and was called "mucksucking" ALF accidentally hits Willie in the shin while demonstrating a swing. The family helps Willie into the house, and ALF then wonders what life would be like if he’d never come to Earth and accidentally conks himself on the head with the croquet mallet.

Act One

When ALF gets inside the house, he rubs his head and enters the dining area. The Tanners are eating without him, and for a while it seems as though they’re just ignoring him to teach him a lesson. A man appears telling ALF that they can't see or hear him. ALF panics and the man says he's invisible to them too. He tells ALF that his name is Bob and that he's ALF's guardian angel and he's here grant his wish of a new life, under a new law called the Capra Amendment. He says that his history with the Tanners has been erased. Lynn then thanks Willie and Kate for the Maserati and asks if she can give her Porsche to a friend.

ALF tells Bob that the poor Tanners must be miserable without him, and Willie gushes about how perfect their lives are, Some friends of Brian come over and to see the new pool slide. Bob says they could not come over when ALF was with then..ALF comments that the yard isn’t big enough for a pool, and Bob says that the Tanners bought the Ochmoneks’ house and demolished it, and that they moved into a servant's quarters on the Tanner's property. Bob reveals that the Tanners made a lot of money from a lottery ticket which ALF ate in the original timeline.

Bob takes ALF to see what his life is like without the Tanners. At a cosmetic factory, called Cosmique.. ALF thinks it must be boring until Bob takes them into the boss’s office, and we see that ALF is the boss.

Act Two

The alternate timeline ALF then has some of his staffers in. ALF then asks Bob how he got this life, and he explains in the alternate timeline his spaceship crashed into Bloomingdales, and that some radiator fluid from the ship leaked into some cosmetic bottles, and that some socialites tried it on and it became the most popular perfume in the country. The axle grease became lip gloss, and carburetor sludge became a hemorrhoid treatment "Preparation Shumway" ALF wonders how he’s able to operate in public without the Alien Task Force hunting for him. Angel Bob explains that ALF paid off the national debt with his fortunes, so the president called them off.

Bob snaps his fingers and they go to Heaven. Then he’s informed that he won’t remember the Tanners in his new life, and he becomes worried because he’ll miss them. Bob agrees to take ALF down to see the Tanners one last time. ALF notices that there are some changes at home. Willie smokes on a pipe and tells deadpan jokes, Kate plays chess, Brian plays golf, and Lynn plays the bassoon. ALF tells Bob that he tells him it was a mistake because without ALF, The Tanners are not only bored, but they are boring people who don’t spend time together and don’t know how to have fun. Willie and Kate then say they feel something is missing in their lives and Willie wants to hear something breaking. Bob says he made them do that. Mrs Ochmonek then comes in with dustpan to clean up the broken glass, and Kate asks her to belch for them. c

Bob snaps his fingers again and they return to heaven. When he's given the contract to sign for his new life he wants his old life back and when his request is denied he demands a lawyer, to which Bob responds "This is Heaven, there are no lawyers here." ALF repeats "The deal is off" again again,

He wakes up on the couch continuing saying this. He realizes he was dreaming and Willie apologizes to him for yelling out loud to him.

Epilogue

ALF calls Bloomingdales and tries to sell them on the idea of his radiator fluid perfume. Kate is the unwitting test subject after ALF sneaks it into one of her perfume bottles

Background information

Production history

• Premiere airdate: October 10, 1988
• Production number: 3005

Cast

• Paul Fusco – ALF (puppeteer, voice)
  • Lisa Buckley - ALF (assistant puppeteer)
  • Bob Fappiano - ALF (assistant puppeteer)
• Max Wright – Willie Tanner
• Anne Schedeen – Kate Tanner
• Andrea Elson – Lynn Tanner
• Benji Gregory – Brian Tanner
• Liz Sheridan– Raquel Ochmonek
• Joseph Maher – Bob

Title Reference

"Stairway to Heaven" is the name of a song by Led Zeppelin.

Trivia

• ALF has another story concerning his fate when he is captured by the government in Project: ALF. However, he became an ambassador and was released to freedom. ALF possibly does wish to stay with the Tanners and could be searching for them after Project: ALF, unless he rather decided to wait for Rhonda and Skip, which was his plan that would have been carried out in Consider Me Gone if the government hadn't intercepted and decoded the radio transmission and captured him.
• The plot is a parody on the film It's A Wonderful Life. Both this episode and the film are about the main character regretting to have made a wish that was granted by his guardian angel.
• Antagonist: Bob