Melmac (planet)

Melmac, as seen from space.

"Melmac was the name of my planet. It's also what it was made out of."

―ALF

Melmac was a planet located in the Aldente Nebula in the Andromeda Galaxy. It was located six parsecs past the Hydra-Centaurus Supercluster. It was non-spherical and made of melmac. Melmac had green skies and blue grass, and it orbited a purple sun. (However, on "Turkey in the Straw: Part 2," ALF claims that Melmac has an orange sky and green clouds.)

The restaurant scene in the episode "Help Me, Rhonda" is the only time Melmac is shown on the ALF TV series.

Melmac had two moons.

It was the homeworld of the Melmacians.

Life forms

• blood pansy
• bouillabaseball fish
• cat
• dinnersaur
• jaffee
• Melmacian
• melmacian cockroach
• melmassaur
• orbit gnat
• salesman dinosaur
• slurf
• slug
• vespa
• vesta

Government

Executive Branch

Melmac was run by the Imperial Intergalactic Trade Federation. Due to nuclear war, the Imperial Federation enforced the laws of the surrounding planets, Melmac, Alvin, Alvin Heights, Dave(Object Kowal & Chiron), and Pluto; also, possibly, Mars. The Federation signed the Intergalactic Imperious Constitution, but due to the destruction of Melmac, the Federation enacted a new Imperious Constitution. This forbade Melmacian starships to leave a Federation-controlled section of the galaxy. ALF became an outlaw, whom the Federation pursued; he sneakily swept down to Earth to avoid persecution, only to have his ship crash-land there.

Legislative Branch

The Imperial Intergalactic Trade Federation formed the Imperial Senate, and it imposed a persecution law during Melmac's destruction. The document that restricted this action clearly stated that "no member of the Imperial Senate shall make a law working against the First Amendment," but this document was repealed when the Federation enacted a new one.

Judicial Branch

The Federation registered a trial for any law-breaker on any planet under Federation control. However, when the Federation enacted the Second Intergalactic Imperious Constitution, this justice system was abolished and replaced by disciplinary hearings with the Legislative and Executive Branches.

Economy

On Melmac, the economic values of various objects worked just about the exact opposite of Earth values:

Object Rank Value

Foam	1st	$1,000
Bronze	2nd	950
Carpet	3rd	800
Grass	4th	750
Coal	5th	600
Silver	6th	500
Rust	7th	425
Dirt	8th	300
Cat Hair	9th	250
Foam Bottle caps	10th	100
Bronze Bottlecaps	11th	75
Silver Bottlecaps	12th	50
Bottlecaps	13th	1-25
Gold	14th	0

Melmacian Facts

Planetary Motto: Are you going to finish that sandwich?

Melmacian Anthem: "Dance till you drop", by Homer T. Swipe.

Melmacian Currency: Wernicks

National Flower: Roger the Turnip

National Mascot: Buster, the Groundhog

Melmacian Calendar

A year on Melmac consisted of 364 days excluding Sundays, 386 days if Sundays were included.

The twelve Melmacian months were: Harble, Tarble, Goruff, Kilmerl, Gagg, Orring, Barp, Twangle, Fanfan, Nathinganger, Anerva, and Fibble.

History of Melmac

Ancient History

Before Melmacians of Gordon Shumway's type existed, huge creatures, which resembled a cross between a dinosaur and an insurance salesman, used to roam Melmac.

Melmac was discovered 23,000 years ago when Harold Twink accidentally took the wrong exit for Neptune.

Recent History

By A.D. 3, Melmac was owned under a government policy of the then new Trade Federation.

In A.D. 5, The Federation enacted, signed, and ratified the first constitution.

In A.D. 6, the first prince was elected to the throne.

In 172, Melmacian Water Trumps ceased to be considered legal in nearby cities or to be concerned as pets or tree plants, and it ceased to be legal to own one.

In 345, the Melmacian Cockroach was discovered.

In 578, one of Melmac's neighboring planets, Gwegon, was invaded by Torks. The Federation declared war on Aktoerk, the main planet supplying these creatures, ultimately starting a huge war, which Melmacians of Gordon Shumway's time learned about in their history books as Galactic War I. In 1243, the war ended.

In 1298, the Gwegonians declared war on Melmac, and the Second Galactic War began. In 1306, that war ended.

In 1633, Bart Humphery's front lawn was proclaimed a national treasure.

In 1736, Green Beans were given the right to vote.

In 1847, Melmacians began using the word "weenie." Gordon Shumway never explained its Melmacian etymology to the Tanner family when he commenced to live with them and received the nickname of "ALF."

Reginald J. Shank was the first Melmacian to whistle.

Melmacians were unable to pronounce the word "Ohio" until 1956.

In 1923, Melmac won its first blue medal in the intergalactic Olympics for freestyle fainting and guppy chucking.

In 1902, Melmac set a galactic record in the exporting of over two million wind-up brassieres.

In 1980, The Federation declared a nuclear war, "Galactic War III," on the Andromedian Revolt Society, a rebel group on Torkwrish, another planet that was a combatant in the first war.

In 1986, Melmac exploded, the Federation ordered the signing of the second Constitution, and the war ended.

Presumably in 1990, the year the TV show ended, ALF's friends Skip and Rhonda explained that Melmacians had bought a new planet on which they could live. The new planet was already inhabited, so Melmacians negotiated with the native aliens on the planet. ALF said this when he decoded the message sent in the series finale, "Consider Me Gone."

Melmacian Laws

Melmac had a number of laws which Terrestrial humans might have found bizarre. Among them were:

It was against the law for Melmacians to name their children after wood.

The biggest cause of arrest on Melmac was tickling a barber.

To operate a gas grill, most Melmacians had to own a license.

On Melmac, it was illegal to juggle your cousins.

On Melmac, dancing with a mailman was a federal offense.

On Melmac, waving at a halibut was against the law.

Destruction of Melmac

Melmac was destroyed on Gary 71st, 45-7, (Nathanbanger 28th, 45-7 on the Melmacian Calendar, October 28th, 1985 on the Earth calendar). There has never been a definitive reason given for Melmac's destruction. Some explanations have been:

Nuclear War

ALF claimed that the nuclear war he had been fighting with the Orbit Guard and another planet was the reason why the planet exploded.

Hairdryer Theory

ALF also claimed it was because every Melmacian plugged their hairdryers in at the same time. ("Pennsylvania 6-5000")

Environmental Theory

ALF appeared in a 1987 public service announcement promoting environmentalism. He claimed that Melmac was destroyed because the Melmacians did not take care of their environment, and he hoped that Earth would not have the same fate.

Trivia

• Beginning in 172, Melmacian Water Trumps were illegal to own in a populated area, especially one with a lake or ocean. Any violation of that law would result in severe penalties, either a possible life prison sentence or the death penalty.

Melmacian Holidays

1. National Rag on the Martians Day
2. Saint Melmac's Day